Still yet moving ahead

I was on my regular evening walk. After a sudden stroke of humidity, the weather had calmed down. It was pleasantly sunny with gentle breezes playing along. I looked at the clear blue skies, the Victorian houses in the residential lanes, neatly kept gardens with blooming flowers. Waves of tranquility washed over me. It was an ordinary day but I felt blessed. 

Life has been hard in the past decade. My sister moved abroad, mom fell sick and passed away, I got married and divorced. COVID happened. Work became mundane. I quit my job, moved abroad and faced new challenges in unfamiliar territory. There were happier times too but the gloomy ones left a stronger impression on my soul. I became pessimistic and forlorn.

Earlier, I used to blog often and that helped me gain perspective of things. I was aware of what was going on and conscious of what needed to be done. These days, since I don't own a laptop, I stopped writing and in turn stopped contemplating too. But, in that blissful moment during my walk, I had a sort of enlightenment. 

I think my life has turned a corner. At times, I still cannot believe that am living in an English country that looks straight out of the pages of an Enid Blyton book. My investments are paying off and I have enough money to retire. I have settled in my new life and have a handle on most things. I now have friends here. Of course, there is always a chance for life to be better but do I really need more?

I know that I still don't have a purpose. Why am I so hard on myself though? What is the hurry? What is the need to be perfect all the time? It is ok to step back and relax for a bit. Spend time doing things I like. And in that one moment, the universe told me - it is alright to be still, indulge and savor every moment of life.

Update on the year

This year has been so amazing, it kinda makes me want to believe in manifestation!

When I scribbled down my “to-do” list in my diary, a lot of those things felt like a long shot. But I kicked off the year determined to tick off as many as I could. What I didn’t expect was to actually cross out so many of them 😃

First up, I explored Ashton Lane and De Courcy’s Arcade. While hunting for food, I randomly stumbled into the Botanical Gardens and ended up walking along the Kelvin Walkway. On the way back, I grabbed the most delicious churros from “Loop n Scoop.” The very next week, I toured the Glasgow City Chambers. Not only did I get a dose of history, but I also learned that Glasgow is celebrating its 850th birthday this year and that it’s hosting the Commonwealth Games next year. Super excited for that!

Valentine’s week was gift-shopping time. I took a little detour through Queen’s Park and dropped by the Gurudwara, which had a calming effect on me. Later, I scored the perfect gift for my foodie hubby - Biryani and Indian sweets (which, by the way, have now become a regular in our house). We also discovered cookie dough, apparently a big dessert thing here, and it’s our new obsession. Oh, and I dared myself to go on a solo day trip to Dundee. Honestly, I wish the city was a bit more exciting, but hey, baby steps.

Amidst all the sightseeing, I managed to sneak in some Jane Austen. It was easy to lose myself in the Regency era, with Scotland providing the perfect real-life backdrop. I also tried a bunch of new recipes. I like cooking but not the daily grind, so I’ve been experimenting with weekly set menus just so I can “sleep-cook” my way through dinner.

Finances are always buzzing in the back of my brain, so I decided to try my hand at trading. Started with equities and, with a friend’s nudge, jumped into futures and options. It’s nerve-wracking, but it makes me feel alive! I have also been playing 'Puppy Keep' on Shein. It takes forever, but once done, you get a free gift of your choice, which is kinda fun. I won a Dyson Airwrap dupe on it and it works just fine. Oh, and I landed two interview opportunities in my field. Although I didn't get the job (am I secretly happy?) but they helped me gauge where I stand.

And then there were the random things on my bingo card like eating pizza, learning chopsticks, visiting a spa - all checked off without me even trying. Don't you love it when life does that?

2025 - Oddly satisfying

We have already completed a quarter of the 21st century. 2025 is here and I seem to be in a whole new dimension. For the first time ever, I slept at 9:45 P.M. on New Year's Eve. Well, apart from that, everything else is the same. I have my hopes up and my resolutions ready.

For the past ten years or so, life seemed to be the same. Even though we got through a pandemic and some people were in and out of my life, nothing felt too drastic. Probably, because I always had my loved ones around me and my work felt like my security blanket. Having moved to Scotland, without any of these, I feel vulnerable. Life works in strange ways. I have somehow landed in what I may call a dream life. I have much to be grateful for.

Scotland is breathtaking. Surrounded by greenery, stillness, and an almost meditative quiet, it’s easy to feel at peace. The weather, though, can be temperamental with the rain and wind often arriving uninvited. But the warmth of the people more than makes up for it. Our home is conveniently located, with a library and train station just a short walk away. One striking difference here is the climate. One can walk for miles and not break a sweat.

My social scene has changed drastically. We know only a handful of people, and my husband isn’t exactly enthusiastic about traveling or sightseeing. I have managed to make a few friends and try to explore on my own when I can. The cost of living here is ridiculous and the UK prices make my Indian savings feel alarmingly small. The job market has been a tough nut to crack, with few roles aligning with my experience. So, I’m using this time to unwind and invest in skills and areas I couldn’t focus on before.

The last six months were especially challenging, but I have managed to navigate it. Today, I feel stronger, more grounded. I am in a much better frame of mind now. My only wish is to live my life intentionally and not merely exist.

2024 - New Horizons

Every year, when I sit down to write my dreams and desires for the new year, I am clueless about how the year will turn out to be. Not this time. It's mid-Feb and I have already made some major life decisions.

I am going to quit my job. A job I have been doing for almost 14 years of my life. I have forgotten how it feels not having to wake up to official work. But I think I am ready for it. The other anticipated change is moving to Scotland for the rest of the year. So far, all I know is that I will be going there. For how many months is still a question. I am good at what I do, I had ample money coming in, a supportive team, and great friends along with the fact that I get to stay in the place I love the most - Bangalore! Then why did I make the premature decision to resign from such a cushy job?

Life may seem perfect from the outside but everybody has their inner demons. I think I was in a rut. I badly needed to shake up things to stop me from dwelling in the past. I love my home, the one I bought and set up with so much pride. However, this house also reminds me of my mom who passed away barely months after moving in. My sister moved to the US and my dad to Mangalore. I feel incredibly lonely at times in this house full of memories of people I love and miss. My husband is in Scotland and having a long-distance relationship is not easy. I want to be with him and have a family of my own even if it is just the two of us.

Wow! That was tough. Moving on to lighter stuff, I completed my A2 course in French on Duolingo!! I have graduated to the B1 level. That's some serious commitment. Now that I have more time on my hands, I want to practice material from other sources apart from Duolingo to make myself much more proficient. One more constant through the years has been my Goodreads Reading Challenge. I have set my target low this year - 15 books. I may read more than that but I don't want to pressurize myself considering everything else that is happening. I also plan to catch up on a lot of sitcoms and movies coz that's what unemployed folks do, right?

I was looking at my blog and, sadly, there are hardly any posts in between the year. It seems more of a to-do list than a bucket of memories. I have several incomplete drafts begging to be posted. I want to be more consistent with my writing. I also want to capture more memories. I have realized that if we make a constant effort to romanticize life, we can manifest it. Fake it till you make it. Of course, it is important to be in touch with reality but there's no harm in creating the life you wish to see. 

I am amused whenever I look at my 2021 Bucket List. It's been 3 years now and it is still not complete. I seem to have added everything under the sun. Surprisingly, an item gets ticked off now and then and ends up making me double happy! I know I have an even bigger list that is ironically named Small Dreams :D And the numerous other challenges that I have taken up. I am happy to let them be. I know I will keep clearing them and coming up with new ones. That's life. There's always something to look forward to. I also intend to focus on my health and appearance. I am not worried about them, I would rather say I am conscious about them. 

It almost feels surreal to think of the future. After three and a half decades of living life a certain way, it truly feels like entering a different era. I want to be hopeful and expectant without any negative connotations weighing me down. Ah, the age of innocence, wish you could come back :) 

2023 - A year to remember

A quick recap of 2023. The year started with a visit to 'Prani' the pet sanctuary. I got to meet several icky reptiles and rodents :P Next came the Enchanta Premier League in which I enrolled myself for Throwball. Our team was the underdog but with sheer grit and hard work, we emerged out the winners!! I have probably not won anything in sports and hence it was a memorable event for me. Meanwhile, at work, some women were coming together to form a Diversity and Inclusion initiative. I was recruited as well. We conducted many activities for which I had to design posters, talk to people and host events. It was the perfect creative outlet for me.

Back in 2022, Ikea opened a store in Bangalore. Somehow I hadn't been able to go there at all. When the bed in my room started making noises resembling ghosts, it led to my first Ikea purchase. I have to admit the new bed is not very sturdy but goes really well with my room's aesthetic. It was Dad's 70th birthday this year. Me and Sis planned a surprise birthday party for him. I invited all his friends and close family. He looked so pleased like a kid. I have been socializing a lot more than usual this year. Met up with friends for lunch, had a team dinner with colleagues I have known for more than a decade, and went to Mangalore plenty of times for baby showers, naming ceremonies and weddings. Also, hosted a cocktail party for the newlyweds like a pro. It was last minute with no prep but I managed to pull it off.

There were three major events this year. The first was a vacation in Europe with my cousins and the second was a vacation with my friends in Malaysia. Both of them were girls only and, needless to say, we had a lot of fun and fantastic memories! I made sure to take as many pictures as possible. The third highlight of the year is that I got married <3 It seems as if R was written in my fate and it was just a matter of time before we got together. We are so perfect for each other. I am currently basking in marital bliss, enjoying the sunshine and hoping it will last forever!

I also tried new air fryer recipes, had some amazing French toast, joined a dance class for a while and welcomed the new year with my favorite people - my Sis and nephew. Overall, it's been a great 2023. And I truly believe, there are only good things to come :)

Feb leads the way

I have decided that my new year will officially start in Feb!

January swooshed by and I barely registered it. Where did all the days go? I did not even make any new year's resolutions. It's only fair that I get one more chance at it. So, here goes. I have read about the concept of having a word of the year. Basically, you are choosing a word that sets your intention for the year. My word of the year is Acceptance. There is no point in questioning the past and wondering what could have been different. Life is a journey meant for experiencing and learning new things. The idea is not to dwell but to move on.

Next up are the usual suspects. I feel immense joy and pride when I think of my French course. I started learning French on Duolingo and never expected to come this far. I recently completed 650 days of the course. I am done with Intro to French and French Foundations 1 and 2. I started French Foundations 3 in Jan. It has a total of 35 units. My plan is to finish at least 3 units per month so that I can ace this level by the year-end. As per tradition, I have signed up for the Goodreads Reading Challenge. However, I have set my goal too low. Only 20 books. I don't want to over-commit and feel pressurized into reading average stuff.

I really want to do the Doodle Challenge. I love drawing small cute images and colouring them. The sketchbooks I own will finally attain salvation through this challenge. I am trying to clean out stuff accumulated over the years. The hoarder in me hates parting with things. But this time, I am just going to Marie-Kondo it. I have learnt to be mindful of the things I buy. Now, it's time to let go. Something else I am aspiring to do is travel. I have been bookmarking so many places on Instagram and Pinterest. I hope to visit at least a few of them.

My iPad has been helping a lot in this regard. I found an adorable planner and I look forward to filling it in every day. This helps me keep track of the things I want to do and need to do. Things like planning my meals. I am trying to eat clean and work out. So, I take a lunch box to work. I have also decided not to eat non-veg on Mondays. This is something my mother stressed on to inculcate discipline and self-control in us.

That's the list. I finally feel at peace. Writing down my vision for the year is a ritual I religiously follow. It pumps me up for the days ahead. Now that the plan is here, time to get cracking.

Hello 2023!

The first week of the New Year is already done. Time to reminiscence and simultaneously plan for the days ahead.

The highlight of last year is me meeting my darling nephew A. I went saat samundar paar to the USA and had the most wonderful time there. I also tried Froyo for the first time. I am not very fond of yoghurt but froyo actually tasted good! My friends also planned a short trip to Kodaikanal after learning that I had never been there. I couldn't get enough of the chilly mornings and scenic views. My sister is in India for the holiday season. We had to travel to Chennai for their visa stamping. We went to Mahabalipuram for a day. The sculptures there are beautiful. I would love to revisit it someday.

Back home, I really wanted to change the home decor a bit. Give it that cute and cosy vibe. I love plants and flowers around the house and bought a number of them. But I am also a responsible plant parent and have been taking care of them quite well with my dad's help. I also got a swing hung on our balcony. It's my favourite part of the house now <3 And am overjoyed that it's A's fav place too. The aesthetics are not the only upgrade in my house though. Without planning to, I ended up buying an Air fryer, a washing machine, a Robo vacuum cleaner and an AC. I have to admit these things make life so much easier. I love deep-fried stuff but the thought of all that oil turns me off. But with the air fryer, the guilt reduces drastically. Similarly, the vacuum cleaner has helped me avoid the maid during the week guaranteeing calm mornings. I have avoided the AC for the longest time but gave in because of the fluctuations in the Bangalore weather.

Talking about gadgets, I have landed the lottery with Apple goods. My uncle gifted me the iPhone 13 Pro Max and the Apple Watch Series 7. My sister gifted me Airpods Pro 2nd Gen and the iPad Air 5th Gen. I feel a bit sheepish saying I bought the Apple Pencil 2nd Gen which is the least valued item here. But it is what it is. I was never an Apple fan. In my defence, I will just say "If you can't beat them, join them". I was also gifted a Coach bag by the uncle who planned the New York trip. Both my high-end bags - MK and Coach were gifted by him. I also received a surprise Secret Santa gift from my colleague at work. It was totally unexpected and left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling. I feel blessed and grateful to have such wonderful people around me, both family and friends.

I am just going to skim over the last few things, not because they are insignificant. Writing about them will need posts of their own. One of my favourite cousins got married last year and it was a full-on Bollywood-style wedding! On the heels of it came the Rajyotsava celebrations in our apartment. I was a part of the Treasure Hunt Organization team and also the MC for the evening where we had Prof. Krishne Gowda as the chief guest. A couple of years back, I was gifted ICICI bank cards worth 15k. They had expired during the COVID situation. After a lot of follow-ups, we were finally able to get new cards issued. Ever since the COVID scare passed, we have been asked to report to work every day. The long commute made me take to Audiobooks. I have been able to meet my Goodreads challenge only because of listening to books during the cab ride.

Finally, the best news of the year. I have started driving independently!! Woohooo!! Years after getting my license and free taunts from almost everybody I know, here I am zipping around the city in a four-wheeler. Every day, I appreciate it better.

So that's a wrap on my 2022. Looking forward to an amazing 2023!