I am going to quit my job. A job I have been doing for almost 14 years of my life. I have forgotten how it feels not having to wake up to official work. But I think I am ready for it. The other anticipated change is moving to Scotland for the rest of the year. So far, all I know is that I will be going there. For how many months is still a question. I am good at what I do, I had ample money coming in, a supportive team, and great friends along with the fact that I get to stay in the place I love the most - Bangalore! Then why did I make the premature decision to resign from such a cushy job?
Life may seem perfect from the outside but everybody has their inner demons. I think I was in a rut. I badly needed to shake up things to stop me from dwelling in the past. I love my home, the one I bought and set up with so much pride. However, this house also reminds me of my mom who passed away barely months after moving in. My sister moved to the US and my dad to Mangalore. I feel incredibly lonely at times in this house full of memories of people I love and miss. My husband is in Scotland and having a long-distance relationship is not easy. I want to be with him and have a family of my own even if it is just the two of us.
Wow! That was tough. Moving on to lighter stuff, I completed my A2 course in French on Duolingo!! I have graduated to the B1 level. That's some serious commitment. Now that I have more time on my hands, I want to practice material from other sources apart from Duolingo to make myself much more proficient. One more constant through the years has been my Goodreads Reading Challenge. I have set my target low this year - 15 books. I may read more than that but I don't want to pressurize myself considering everything else that is happening. I also plan to catch up on a lot of sitcoms and movies coz that's what unemployed folks do, right?
I was looking at my blog and, sadly, there are hardly any posts in between the year. It seems more of a to-do list than a bucket of memories. I have several incomplete drafts begging to be posted. I want to be more consistent with my writing. I also want to capture more memories. I have realized that if we make a constant effort to romanticize life, we can manifest it. Fake it till you make it. Of course, it is important to be in touch with reality but there's no harm in creating the life you wish to see.
I am amused whenever I look at my 2021 Bucket List. It's been 3 years now and it is still not complete. I seem to have added everything under the sun. Surprisingly, an item gets ticked off now and then and ends up making me double happy! I know I have an even bigger list that is ironically named Small Dreams :D And the numerous other challenges that I have taken up. I am happy to let them be. I know I will keep clearing them and coming up with new ones. That's life. There's always something to look forward to. I also intend to focus on my health and appearance. I am not worried about them, I would rather say I am conscious about them.
It almost feels surreal to think of the future. After three and a half decades of living life a certain way, it truly feels like entering a different era. I want to be hopeful and expectant without any negative connotations weighing me down. Ah, the age of innocence, wish you could come back :)
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